Monday, August 30, 2010

2010 Worst Purrformance in a video Winner

Meowzers!  My very own Acceptance Speech! [Person, you taking dictation?] 

*clears throat* (pause) *runs through a few test yowls to warm up voice*  MIMIMIMIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! 
*taps mike* (Person: Ryker, stop it. That really gets on the audio tech's nerves. Trust me on this.)
*glares at Person* (pause) *turns back on Person and studiously IGNORES her* (Sighhhh...good help, SO hard to find these days!)

AHEM.

"Thanks you, thanks you... it's such an honor to be recognized for such an achievement. People think it's easy to win the title, "Worst Purrformance in a Video," but let me tell you, it's taken many long, difficult months' worth of rigorous training and refinement to achieve such a coveted goal!

I have to thank @Allie_Kitti for being my inspiration. She was always there (always, incessantly, omnipresently, ANNOYINGLY there) biting, clawing, pouncing and stalking me...driving me to the height of perfection.
*bows to Allie...from a respectful distance* I think it's fair to say, Allie, that without you there would be no Anipal Academy Award for this Tonk!

To the Academy, who had the Good Taste to see through the surface yowls to the tormented soul that lay beneath such a memorable diatribe and recognize my Star Qualities....I thank you, one and all.

And finally, to my Person. Without your catering to my every whim, indulging me shamelessly and basically spoiling me beyond rotten, I would never have developed such a demanding yowl.  For all the (many) days you worked late and I greeted you with an affronted wail (at the top of my lungs)... for all the occasions where I tested your response time by demanding treats at 120 decibels (whaddaya mean, that's the threshold of pain? Humans. SUCH wimps. Rilly.) ...
I humbly thank you.

Hark! Is that my Agent calling? Must run, my Adoring Fans await...."
_________

<<<>>>> ooooooh! *squeal!* SPOTLIGHTS! Paparazzi! Just what a Girl NEEDS to feel Special and GLAM! *bats eyes and arranges pink toenails for optimum camera angle* Is this my best side, Dame? Is it? Is it? *giggle* 

What? They're not here for MEEEE? This is all for Ryker?!?!? ooooooooooooohhhhhhh.... <<<<>>>>

[Ryker's Person here:  sorry guys, interview's over, gotta go avert- *CRASH! HISS! YOWWWWWWL!* ....disaster.... ] 

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations buddy - very well said! he he - you are so darn creative buddy!

    ReplyDelete